PROSTATE C*NCER PROJECT - "the radiation series" - ERRING ON THE MOUNT - May 2014

 PROSTATE C*NCER PROJECT - "the radiation series"

by Bronson Smith

- ERRING ON THE MOUNT EXHIBITION TEXT -

"Erring on the Mount" was an amazing site-specific Multidisciplinary Arts Festival at the old Mount St. Joseph Seminary in Peterborough (now The Mount Community Centre) that ran from May 30 to June 1, 2014.
It was the creation of Public Energy - dance, theatre and Performance - of Peterborough. They did an amazing job. The event was  filmed and a documentary by Lester Alfonso hopefully will be ready for public viewing in 2015.

Over 80 Artists participated in the event, and I was very pleased and proud to be one of them. 

My exhibition of paintings was in corridor in the abandoned hospital wing. Participants would walk up one side of the corridor- reading the text for each painting - the inspiration painting and paintings one to three, then turn around and walk back looking at the text and paintings four to seven on the other wall of the corridor.

 I had a wonderful response from those who viewed my work. Some simply smiled, a few cried when they shook my hand, and others found it very moving and shared their personal stories with me.  And all were very pleased with the text on the Epilogue panel at the end of the exhibit.

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INTRODUCTION

Out of adversity comes creativity and the freedom to create!
In 2009, I was diagnosed with and had surgery for Prostate Cancer. I had been in remission for three years when my PSA (Prostate-Specific Antigen) numbers started rising in 2012.
The cancer was back.

In October 2013, I started radiation treatments at the Norm & Jessie Dysart Radiation Centre at the Peterborough Regional Health Centre. A couple of years back I participated in a Art fundraiser at my Studio to help them raise money to build it. I didn't think at the time I would be using it.
This is not a boo-hoo situation, but more of an empowerment.
I will create wonderful things while they zap me to kill the cancer. I will share with others through my paintings what I am feeling week to week - this is a 7 week project.

INSPIRATION PAINTING

"red sky and quilts"

The end result will be a series of 7 paintings (based on the inspiration painting, "Red Sky and Quilts") one for each of the 7 weeks ( 66 sessions) of radiation treatment. Each one will show through the colours, texture, and detailling, how I am doing - emotionally - physically (the side effects can kick in on week two) and spiritually.

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WEEK ONE

"blue skies"

I am feeling calm about my radiation treatments and hopeful.
I have just finished week one of my seven week radiation treatment. The staff are kind and considerate.
I feel OK and there is a calmness about me. I am hopeful that I will be able to reach my project goal with Kickstarter crowdfunding and be able to complete the seven paintings.

The first painting is called "blue skies" because of how I am feeling after the previous weekend's visit to Rochester, New York. It was one of the GFMPH cancer survivor and their spouses gathering.
GFMPH (good for men’s prostate health) is part of an online support site that helps men and their wives / spouses / family cope with, support and share patient information about PCa.

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WEEK TWO

"uncertainty"

The second week of my radiation treatment started off on a down note with the passing away of my Mother, Shirley Elizabeth (Betty) Ritchie Smith, age 86. She had cancer at age 42 complicated by radiation burns, and survived another 44 years - passing away in her sleep on October 6, 2013, after
another bout of pneumonia, a stroke, and failing health.
I am full of sadness and uncertainty about life and what it holds.

The Kickstarter.com crowdfunding did not meet its goal. Many thanks to those who supported me.
Side effects are creeping up slowly.
I have had some issues with the bowels and bladder, some of the possible side effects to the radiation treatment. I am experiencing more leaking and increased incontinence (more marking on the guard pad I wear).

Our first meeting with the oncologist will be tomorrow and I have no idea of what to expect... so if last week was "blue skies", I think this week will be “uncertainty".

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WEEK THREE

"muddled"

I am "muddled" about how I am feeling about my Mother's death and how it relates to my own mortality if this radiation treatment does not stop the growth of the prostate cancer.
I am aware of the "possible" future and what it may include bone metastisis, morphine for pain - not a pretty sight ....

I am facing elements of fatigue and some wandering thoughts. I know I am tired when I repeat to myself "focus, focus, focus", so I can get a job done.
The side effects are building up - bowels are swollen so not much to the B.M.'s - actually gaining weight during this ordeal.

Incontinence is tolerable - but wear a pad in the front and back of my underwear - just for safety sake.
Trying a different crowdfunding site, fundanything.com.
I am very pleased with "muddled" painting. It is in a colour range that reflects where I am right now. Muted - sorta monotone.

I am needing some more emotional support ( hence the ribbed foundations of the houses instead of carved in slats). Things seem to be louder and more basic and less b.s. - so bigger patterns and the squares on the quilts.

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WEEK FOUR

"bubbling up" (anger)

I am angry at the disease - missed work opportunities - flailing about in all directions.
I had the image in my head already and all the colours were chosen on Sunday ... so I will be painting the sky dark - with black - greys - a streak of off-white with a gash of bright red.
… the anger ready to escape ...

My thoughts are flailing around right now, coming to grips with Mom's passing. Sorting out the anger of how I was treated but trying to embrace the forgiveness I gave to her so she could pass
on at peace.
Anger can be a motive and can encourage the creation of things and be crippling at the same time.

I did my best to not second guess myself with the strong colours in the painting and went with how I am feeling.

Almost halfway there - 14 out of 33 zaps.

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WEEK FIVE

"hopeful"

A donor donated $2,000.00 to my fundanything.com campaign to help me complete this project.
Very pleased to have only minimal side effects to the cancer treatments. The machine was giving the techies trouble so we had a 3 hour delay, but safety comes first and I was willing to wait until we all got the green light.

This project helped me "get out of my head" and focus on the work at hand and helped me cope: with my Mother's death; the radiation treatments; and the REASON for me having to do radiation treatments - the prostate cancer had returned and was growing - it had to be stopped!
Started working on layouts for poster of final 7 paintings.
Have enjoyed sharing my experiences at fundanything.com and my project with others at the radiation bunker at PRHC.
Two of the women who are dealing with breast cancer have actually named their tumour - so that the techies and patient are both working together to kill the cancer.
It doesn't matter if it is breast cancer, or prostate cancer, testicular, ovarian, lung, you get my drift.... - regardless of the colour of the awareness ribbon - we are all fighting the same beast - CANCER.

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WEEK SIX

"fatigue"

Well, I am ready to start my countdown tomorrow - there will be only ten (10) radiation treatments left - hoorah!

I have been doing well with side effects but the fatigue has finally hit me like a pile of bricks as of last Wednesday. Having one or two one hour naps during the day helps a great deal. Having difficulty finishing this painting.

It is not a depressing sky - just a night sky - quiet and dark with the light on ... but I don't feel like getting up - let me have another bit of rest.

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WEEK SEVEN

"journey's end"

It is the end of one journey and the beginning of another ...

I leave it up to the viewer to decide why this is different from the rest. It invokes the colours and patterns of the inspiration painting but it has changed.

It is the end of one journey - the radiation treatments due to the return of my prostate cancer - and the beginning of a new one. Hopefully the cancer is dead and I will be in remission again.

My creativity is still out there for all to see.

Will they see the changes in the landscape or the changes in me.

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EPILOGUE

- final panel - text only -

May 21, 2014, my Urologist-Surgeon says I am cured of cancer.

My PSA has been undetectable < 0.010 since March 2014.

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PROSTATE CANC*R PROJECT - "the radiation series" Poster 

I have a limited edition (350) signed poster of this series of paintings for sale - image is 11" x 17" -  $50.00 unframed - $250.00 framed - shipping extra

10% of the sales will go to Prostate Cancer Canada.

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For more information please contact:

BRONSON "BUNNY" SMITH

473 Donegal Street, Peterborough, Ontario,Canada K9H 4L7

705-874-9600 cell - 705-933-9600 http://bronsonsmith.com

tatt2man@mac.com - tatt2man1955@gmail.com

I have a quicktime morph of the paintings on youtube 

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKOECwo9eo4

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